So, for the two people that may ever read this...Happy Thanksgiving. Someday, I will write about what a horse shit person my sister is, and I still plan on writing about the physical perfection that is Natalie Portman, but tonight, it's what I am thankful for.
I am thankful for my life. 'Tis a simple one, very (very) non-frickin-what's-the-word...? UN complicated. That is it. Uncomplicated. I go to a job that I enjoy enough to have stayed there for 15 years, I am fucking Yoda at what I do, there are few as good as I, and those that are, are a hell of a lot older. I live in a simple apartment, I drive a simple car, have no real problems to speak of, life is more or less wonderful.
I am thankful for my wife. As big a pain in the ass as she may be sometimes, (and she is) as stubborn as she is (and she totally fucking is), she loves me for what I am. Better or worse (I tend to think it's mostly worse), but she loves me. There are few women in the world who can deal with having a 34 year old child as a husband. She does it with flying colors.
I am thankful for the life of my dearest friend Della. She came close to losing it (and me) this year. I thought so long and hard about what I was going to say to her. I was upset, and God Damn it, I was going to tell her. The opportunity never arose, I saw her tonight, and was so happy to see her, that everything I was going to tell her 6 months ago, didn't matter at all.
I am thankful for music. Whether you are rocking out, cleaning, drinking, sleeping, making the bed, making dinner, making sweet, sweet love, driving, writing, brushing your teeth, working, whatever, music usually makes it better. Saturday night, I got the opportunity to see one of my favorite albums of all time, performed live in it's entirety. DOOLITTLE, by the Pixies. To say it was anything short of brilliant, would be an understatement.
I am thankful that whatever being created this universe gave me patience. I have to use it daily, either dealing with the fucking halfwits that I put up with on a day to day basis, putting up with my wife's stubborn side (which is a LOT larger than her not stubborn side). The nearly unending well of patience I have been given has helped me more than I can express.
I am thankful for Star Wars. Period.
I am thankful for the internet. Be it for porn, communication, music, whatever, I am grateful.
I am thankful for you, non existant reader...
Peace.
WCM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
My friend Della.
So,
I had an I.M. chat on facebook tonight with my friend Della. Now, that isn't her real name, it's been changed, as this is anonymous. So, I've known Della since she was 16. She is now 31, so I've known her half her life. She is my best friend, I love her like she's my sister. More than I love either of my actual sisters. She knows me better than anyone on the planet. Better than my own wife knows me, even. She is the only one in the world that knows my deepest, darkest secret.
In High School, she was a state champion soccer player, in college, she was Division 1. She went to a private university, on a soccer scholarship. She was a good student, and she is now a nurse.
She's always had an issue with addiction, be it alcohol, sex, whatever. In High School and college, it was drinking, it also got to be about sex. She has always been a very physical person. She craves constant physical contact. Once she got out into the real world, she got a job working at a hospital, and met Dave. Now, Dave was a helluva nice guy, but apparently he was a drug addict. He was addicted to prescription medications. He got Della addicted to pain meds and they ended up having a daughter. Allie. Allie is going to be 4 in November and I love her like she was mine. She was born prematurely and had a very slim chance of survival. Dave was drugging Della while she was in labor. After that, Della spent some time in a mental hospital, had a breakdown, and recovered from her husband induced drug addiction.
So, about a year ago, she started seeing a guy who I will call, Dick. Let's talk about Dick.
Dick is a felon. He was accused of sodomizing a dog, but the charges got dropped. That isn't the reason he is a felon, but it gives you a look into his character. His dog fucking story was in the national media a few years ago. He is also a heroin addict/dealer. I should mention he is also the biggest douche I have ever known. I met the guy, and within a week of meeting him, didn't like him and I like everybody. He is just that douchy. The first time I met the guy, he literally changed clothes every twenty minutes just because he likes clothes. He's that douchy. He has no job, no drivers license, he's 32 and lived at home until he and Della hooked up. Then he just moved in with her. Her parents dislike him so much they gave her an ultimatum, Him or Us. And she is very close with her family. Della knows that he is bad news. She knows he has a short fuse. They'd "broken up" a couple of times. Then finally around the third week of September, he went nuts, and beat the shit out of her. At 2 A.M. the police were at her house taking him in to custody, the locksmith was there, changing locks, and her parents took her to their house. And kept her there. They put her in a 3 week forced detox. She was strung out when they picked her up from her house. Heroin. Thanks to Dick, she was addicted to heroin. Now I realize that it isn't ENTIRELY Dick's fault. It is her fault too. But, if I may, what kind of a fucking asshole brings heroin into a house with a 3 year old? That's not only directed at Dick, but Della too.
After her 3 week lockdown Detox at her parents house (I mean LOCKDOWN, they wouldn't even let her go out with me, for coffee, and they trust me completely) they sent her to a rehab facility in Minnesota that is (I think) an offshoot of the Betty Ford Center. She was there for 30 days. No contact at all. She was able to call her parents and Allie twice, maybe three times. She was pissed at her parents for sending her there, and was defiant, but somewhere deep down, she knew she needed to be there. Now AFTER she spent the 30 days in Minnesota, she came back home, and they put her in another facility for professionals with drug addictions (I guess a lot of doctors and nurses get hooked on shit). She is there for 8 to 10 weeks. But this one, she at least gets the opportunity to use the internet. Hence the facebook chat. This is that conversation (names changed)
So that is the conversation. On Sunday nights, (in case you were wondering) I would go over to her house and we'd drink some beers and just hang out. She'd give Allie a bath, Allie and I would have squirt gun fights, she'd put Allie to bed, and her and I would just sit on the couch and talk. Usually, she would vent, and I would listen. That is my job.
Della-I miss you, I love you unconditionally, and hope you get the help you need.
I had an I.M. chat on facebook tonight with my friend Della. Now, that isn't her real name, it's been changed, as this is anonymous. So, I've known Della since she was 16. She is now 31, so I've known her half her life. She is my best friend, I love her like she's my sister. More than I love either of my actual sisters. She knows me better than anyone on the planet. Better than my own wife knows me, even. She is the only one in the world that knows my deepest, darkest secret.
In High School, she was a state champion soccer player, in college, she was Division 1. She went to a private university, on a soccer scholarship. She was a good student, and she is now a nurse.
She's always had an issue with addiction, be it alcohol, sex, whatever. In High School and college, it was drinking, it also got to be about sex. She has always been a very physical person. She craves constant physical contact. Once she got out into the real world, she got a job working at a hospital, and met Dave. Now, Dave was a helluva nice guy, but apparently he was a drug addict. He was addicted to prescription medications. He got Della addicted to pain meds and they ended up having a daughter. Allie. Allie is going to be 4 in November and I love her like she was mine. She was born prematurely and had a very slim chance of survival. Dave was drugging Della while she was in labor. After that, Della spent some time in a mental hospital, had a breakdown, and recovered from her husband induced drug addiction.
So, about a year ago, she started seeing a guy who I will call, Dick. Let's talk about Dick.
Dick is a felon. He was accused of sodomizing a dog, but the charges got dropped. That isn't the reason he is a felon, but it gives you a look into his character. His dog fucking story was in the national media a few years ago. He is also a heroin addict/dealer. I should mention he is also the biggest douche I have ever known. I met the guy, and within a week of meeting him, didn't like him and I like everybody. He is just that douchy. The first time I met the guy, he literally changed clothes every twenty minutes just because he likes clothes. He's that douchy. He has no job, no drivers license, he's 32 and lived at home until he and Della hooked up. Then he just moved in with her. Her parents dislike him so much they gave her an ultimatum, Him or Us. And she is very close with her family. Della knows that he is bad news. She knows he has a short fuse. They'd "broken up" a couple of times. Then finally around the third week of September, he went nuts, and beat the shit out of her. At 2 A.M. the police were at her house taking him in to custody, the locksmith was there, changing locks, and her parents took her to their house. And kept her there. They put her in a 3 week forced detox. She was strung out when they picked her up from her house. Heroin. Thanks to Dick, she was addicted to heroin. Now I realize that it isn't ENTIRELY Dick's fault. It is her fault too. But, if I may, what kind of a fucking asshole brings heroin into a house with a 3 year old? That's not only directed at Dick, but Della too.
After her 3 week lockdown Detox at her parents house (I mean LOCKDOWN, they wouldn't even let her go out with me, for coffee, and they trust me completely) they sent her to a rehab facility in Minnesota that is (I think) an offshoot of the Betty Ford Center. She was there for 30 days. No contact at all. She was able to call her parents and Allie twice, maybe three times. She was pissed at her parents for sending her there, and was defiant, but somewhere deep down, she knew she needed to be there. Now AFTER she spent the 30 days in Minnesota, she came back home, and they put her in another facility for professionals with drug addictions (I guess a lot of doctors and nurses get hooked on shit). She is there for 8 to 10 weeks. But this one, she at least gets the opportunity to use the internet. Hence the facebook chat. This is that conversation (names changed)
hey Buddy
7:11pmDella
hi sweetie
7:11pmWheatCropMan
how are you
7:13pmDella
well...this treatment center is hard
It is in your face treatment...
7:14pmWheatCropMan
How are you feeling?
7:14pmDella
sad
i would love a sunday night with you
7:15pmWheatCropMan
Soon enough, soon enough.
7:15pmDella
it will be like 2 months!
7:16pmWheatCropMan
I know, but if it is 2 months you need...
7:16pmDella
i don't know what i need anymore
7:17pmWheatCropMan
That is too bad. I wish I could help you.
7:18pmDella
you do help me by always being my friend...thank u
7:19pmWheatCropMan
That's what I am here for : )
7:19pmDella
i'm in the fight of my life though WheatCropMan...it i don't turn myself around i'm not going to make it
7:20pmWheatCropMan
I know. I'm worried for you, and Allie.
7:21pmDella
i understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore
7:21pmWheatCropMan
It wouldn't happen. You are my best friend. I love you. That'll never change.
7:22pmDella
thank u...you have no idea what you mean to me. i love you too
7:24pmWheatCropMan
You don't need to thank me. Just keep trying to put up a fight. Love yourself. That's how you can thank me.
7:25pmWheatCropMan
I miss Sunday nights...: (
7:28pmDella
i miss them too...i love you WheatCropMan...i have to go to a meeting....c u soon
7:28pmWheatCropMan
So that is the conversation. On Sunday nights, (in case you were wondering) I would go over to her house and we'd drink some beers and just hang out. She'd give Allie a bath, Allie and I would have squirt gun fights, she'd put Allie to bed, and her and I would just sit on the couch and talk. Usually, she would vent, and I would listen. That is my job.
Della-I miss you, I love you unconditionally, and hope you get the help you need.
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